


think i might turn gay now

by montecarlos



Category: Formula E RPF
Genre: Drama, Fluff, Jealousy, Kissing, M/M, Racing, Sexuality Crisis
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2017-06-10
Updated: 2017-06-10
Packaged: 2018-11-12 15:14:06
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,096
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/11164530
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/montecarlos/pseuds/montecarlos
Summary: Think I will turn gay now. Wauw.The message is preceded by a emoji wearing the familiar heart eyes.





	think i might turn gay now

**Author's Note:**

> Based on this comment which is 100% real - https://www.facebook.com/photo.php?fbid=1298511613575423&set=a.107721082654488.14437.100002497913021&type=3&theater
> 
> Thank you to everyone for kicking my ass to finish this, you mean the world to me. Enjoy :)

_ Think I will turn gay now. Wauw.  _ __  
__  
The message is preceded by a emoji wearing the familiar heart eyes. Antonio would usually roll his eyes at such messages - he’s used to Dani proclaiming his love and Daniel flirting with him over comments on Instagram. But this time, it’s different. The name before the comment is familiar in so many ways. It’s the name of the man who Antonio shares his garage with this year.    
  
_ Robin Frijns.  _ __  
__  
His mouth turns dry as he reads over the comment once again - it was made only twenty minutes after Ant decided to change his profile photo whilst Dani played footsie under the table with a smirking Felix Rosenqvist. Ant feels like Dani should have shoved all the silverware off the table and taken Felix right there and then. He regrets offering their dinner invitation to some extent - he feels like a third wheel whilst they make heart eyes at each other over their paella and had taken to checking his social media and updating his accounts whilst they had had a conversation about who snored the most in bed. He hadn’t expected to see Robin’s name pop up on his notifications though. He grabbed his glass of red wine and took a large gulp, his heart still racing as his eyes take in the words.    
  
_ I will turn gay now.  _   
  
“Cat got your tongue, Da Costa?” Dani asks, the smirk slowly spreading across his face, his hand still entwined with Felix’s.    
  
“Yeah, yeah, just got an interesting message,” Ant says absent-mindedly.    
  
“Oh yeah, from who?” Dani presses, his hazel-green eyes shining in the dim light of the restaurant. However, before Ant can answer, his phone pings again.    
  
From: Robin   
_ Don’t ignore my message, Da Costa. I know you saw it! _ __  
__  
A blush dances across Ant’s face as he taps back something about Robin been needy for attention before his eyes turn back to the couple sitting at the table. Dani looks like the cat that got the cream, his eyes are fixed on the blush creeping up Ant’s neck. “What?” Ant asks, looking puzzled.    
  
“New boyfriend?” Dani asks, eyes still gleaming. His thumb swipes gently over Felix’s knuckles.    
  
“No, no, just Robin,” Ant says with a small voice.    
  
The grin on Dani’s face widens if that were possible. “Robin? What did he say?”   
  
“He was just fooling around,” Ant says, trying to shrug off the question.    
  
_ Or was he? _   
  
Ant wonders where Robin is, right now - he’s probably in Maastricht, probably tucked up in bed with his dog, curled up between the sheets. An image of Robin forms in the front of his mind - of the dark haired Dutchman coiled in the sheets, his blue eyes scanning over his facebook feed on his phone. He doesn’t know what the thing is between Robin and himself - they’re new teammates but they’ve known each other for an awfully long time. He knows that Robin sees him as somewhat of a rival - Simona saw to that in their videos together, gently ribbing Robin for considering Ant as his racing rival and telling the cameras that he always checks Ant’s time first. They’ve become closer in the last few months - ever since Ant started wearing the blue of Andretti. Robin is the one he speaks to the most, the one he seeks out when they’re waiting for the qualifying draw, the one he stands next to on the drivers parade. Ant tells himself that it is because they are teammates, but there’s something about the way Robin looks at him - there’s something more hidden in that blue gaze. Desire of some sort.    
  
“Fooling around?” Dani asks, eyebrow raised. He squeezes Felix’s hand and the Swede smiles back at him. “How so?”   
  
“He’s just being well, you know, Robin,” Ant replies, hoping the blush isn’t painting his cheeks again. He takes another sip of his wine.    
  
“Just been Robin, I see,” Dani’s grin is still stretched wide across his face as he takes a drink of his own wine. “So what’s going on with you two?”   
  
“Nothing, nothing,” Ant says, feeling the burn of his cheeks. “We’re just friends,”   
  
“But do you want there to be?” Dani presses.    
  
Ant finds he can’t answer the question.    
  
“It’s okay if you want there to be,” Dani says, his eyes softening ever so slightly.    
  
“He’s straight,” Ant cuts in. It’s a pathetic excuse - but it’s the only one that Ant has.    
  
“I beg to differ,” Dani says, a smirk painting his face. “Robin isn’t straight, fair from it. He’s got a type though,”   
  
“What?” Ant says, feeling his mouth drop open as he plonks his wine glass back on the table. “What do you mean?”   
  
“He slept with Mitch in Hong Kong,” Dani shrugs.    
  
Ant feels his eyes widen at the revelation. “He slept with  _ Mitch _ ?”   
  
“Yeah, they were really drunk,” Dani says, worrying his lip. “He sent me photos,”   
  
Ant nearly chokes on his own spit. “He sent you  _ photos _ ?”   
  
“Don’t worry, I deleted them,” Dani says, waving his hand as though in dismissal. “Is that a problem?”   
  
“I - I - just didn’t know he was into that,” Ant says, he can feel the blush spreading over his cheeks. “I mean, I thought he was straight,”   
  
Dani bites back a laugh. “He’s really not,”   
  
“Oh,” Ant says, trying not to think of Robin and Mitch together - had they seemed different at that race? Did they follow it up in Marrakech? He tries to think of the times he’s seen them talking together, if he’s noticed anything different -   
  
“Told you he wouldn’t take it well,” Felix says, elbowing Dani.    
  
“You knew?” Ant says, eyes widening.    
  
“Yeah,” Felix traces a finger around the rim of his glass, looking mildly uncomfortable. “I saw them kissing at the wrap party,”   
  
“Anyways,” Dani cuts in. “The question is, what are you going to do about it?”   
  
“I-” Ant begins.    
  
“C’mon Ant. He’s definitely interested in you,” Dani says, sipping on his wine.    
  
“Clearly not as much as Mitch,” Ant finds himself biting out. The thought of Mitch’s hands cupping Robin’s face, their lips colliding together fills his mind. He thinks about the noise that Robin makes when he’s been kissed, the small exhale of breath brushing against Mitch’s cheek as Robin pulls away, his blue eyes filled with desire -    
  
“Dude, Mitch was just a fuck,” Felix says, softly. “They haven’t fucked since then. Mitch isn’t that kind of guy,”   
  
_ And I thought Robin wasn’t that kind of guy either. _ __  
__  
“Look, they were drunk and it just happened,” Felix explains carefully. “I don’t think it meant anything to either of them,”   
  
“Besides, Robin has a little crush on someone else anyway,” Dani says, a teasing smile curling over his lips.    
  
“What?” Ant asks, eyebrow raised.    
  
“I’m not telling you who,” Dani teases a little more, his hand still squeezing Felix’s. “But it’s someone you know,”   
  
“Okay,” Ant says, finishing his wine off. He bites back a yawn and signals to the waiter for the bill. “I better go, I’ve got a flight to catch tomorrow,”   
  
He bids the two men goodnight after settling his bill, watching Dani wrap an arm around Felix’s shoulder, leaning in to press a kiss against his blonde hair. His chest aches at the sight of them, he wishes he had something like that. It’s been months since he’s had anything remotely close to a relationship and he misses it. He misses it. He tumbles into his bed back at the hotel, still thinking about how much he misses being with someone. The sheets coil around him as thoughts of Robin with Mitch fill his mind again. He imagines Mitch pushing Robin into the sheets with a sultry grin on his face, their lips slowly moving against each other. Robin moans out Mitch’s name as Ant’s hand finds its way down into his pants.    
  
_ Think I might turn gay now.  _ __  
__  
The words echo around in Robin’s voice, as he bares his neck to Mitch, Mitch taking the consent, his tongue slowly tracing over Robin’s pale skin. The kisses seem to get more intimate, Mitch’s hands mapping over Robin’s body. The Dutchman groans at the touches, which only serves to make Mitch’s kisses harder, quicker, more sloppy. Mitch’s hands slide underneath Robin’s pants, curving over his weeping dick. Mitch pulls away for a moment, before he glances down at Robin for a second, heavily panting. Blue eyes lock with brown as Mitch’s face melts away into his own - he’s got Robin underneath him, Robin staring up at him with so much desire in his eyes. He leans in and their lips meet. Ant comes with a gasp, snapping himself out of his daydream. As he stares down at the wrinkled sheets, feeling the sticky come coating the inside of his boxer shorts, he wonders what it all means.    
  
__ I’m in too deep.    
  


* * *

  
  
He watches Robin and Mitch carefully in Mexico - they’re friendly and there’s times where Mitch’s arm lingers on Robin’s shoulder for a few seconds too long. Ant frowns at them laughing and joking. He tries to imagine them tangled up in bed together - he wonders who was on top, if Robin liked it. Robin’s laugh pulls him out of his thoughts as Mitch scoots nearer to the Dutchman, their shoulders brushing against one another.   
  
He thinks about Dani’s words.    
  
_ Mitch isn’t that kind of guy. _ __  
__  
Mitch’s hand ends up on Robin’s knee and stays there for the entire qualifying draw. Ant watches them, so much so that he almost misses his call to collect his group. He watches Robin smile, Mitch’s fingers stroking at the Nomex covering his knee. Ant frowns at the contact, eyes fixed on Mitch’s hand still caressing Robin - until Robin’s number is called and he pulls himself from his position on the blue bleachers, Mitch smiling as he goes. When Robin returns, the hand falls back onto his knee like it was supposed to be there. Ant feels something twist in his chest at the sight but tries to put it to the back of his mind - he has other things to worry about, like the race. He’s worried about his car and how it will adapt to the track - it’s not like the others, being a F1 track most of the time.    
  
“You okay?” A familiar voice snaps him out of his thoughts. The draw is over. Robin stands in front of him, surveying him with a look of interest.    
  
“Can’t believe we didn’t get the same group,” Robin says. He looks slightly annoyed at the prospect. “One group away,”   
  
“I’m sure you’ll be fine,” Ant replies, quietly. “I’m sure Mitch will challenge you,”   
  
“What?” Robin raises an eyebrow. “What are you talking about?”   
  
“You know what I’m talking about, Robin,” Ant says, trying to keep his voice steady.   
  
“You happy with your group?” Ant has never been happier to see Felix.    
  
His eyes meet the blue of the Swede’s. “Yeah, shall we go?”   
  
Felix nods once and they walk away from Robin. Ant doesn’t feel the hurt expression on his back as he leaves. Felix turns to him as they walk back to the garage.    
  
“You two are fighting?”   
  
“Evans was practically humping him during that draw, I thought you and Dani said it was a one time thing-” Ant says, pushing his hat back onto his sweaty hair. He’s regretting his rudeness to Robin now, his chest is aching slightly from his own words.    
  
“You know what Mitch is like. He was probably playing-”   
  
“He was groping Robin’s leg in front of everyone-”    
  
“Why does it bother you so much?” Felix asks, his blue eyes fixed on the Portuguese man.    
  
Ant feels his cheeks colour pink. “I-it doesn’t,”   
  
“Clearly it does,” Felix says calmly. “You and Robin probably have some things to talk about,”    
  
Ant is about to open his mouth again but Felix beats him to it. “Clearly, there’s something going on between you two and you need to get it sorted. You know Dani would never forgive me if you two fell out-”   
  
Ant feels a smile brush over his face. “Dani is an idiot,”   
  
“I know,” Felix says with a matching smile. “It’s why I love him,”   
  


* * *

  
  
Both he and Robin had races to forget. Their strategy was okay - but they both ended up with penalties for failing to stop within the designated pit stop time. Ant’s race was worsened by a kick of oversteer into turn one where he overcut the chicane and found himself next to Buemi’s eDams which made the same mistake. He climbs out of his car, feeling dejected and upset, leaving his helmet on as he traipses over to the weighing station. He wants to forget about today, about this weekend - he wants to get back home to his dogs, to his surfboard and regroup for the next race. Ant goes through the motions of the press work required of him before he arrives back to his hotel, his bones aching from the exertion of today’s race. He knows he needs to pack for tomorrow morning’s early flight but he hasn’t got the energy to do so. Ant collapses on top of the bed sheets, burying his face into the sheets. He should take a shower and change out of his overalls, but for now he is just happy to rest his aching body on the cool sheets. The sight of Mexico City is visible from the window, the skyline is the only thing that illuminates the room. But it’s calm to Ant. Serene in a way. He allows the thoughts of the race and of Robin to slip from his mind as it begins to cloud with the beginnings of sleep -    
  
There’s a soft knock at the door. Ant’s eyebrow furrows as he slowly pulls himself off the bed and pads over to the door. He opens it slowly and is surprised to see Robin standing in the doorway.    
  
“Robin, what are you doing here?” He asks in surprise.    
  
“I came to ask why you were being an ass to me today,” Robin says, his voice is soft but his eyes hide a sliver of anger.    
  
“I think you know why,”   
  
“Ant-”   
  
“Look, if Evans is the one who makes you happy-”   
  
“Is that what this is about?” Robin says slowly. “Oh god, Felix told you didn’t he?” He pinches the bridge of his nose with his thumb and forefinger, his nose crinkling ever so slightly. “I told them not to say anything-”   
  
“Why?” Ant asks, folding his arms.    
  
“Because it was just a drunken fuck, it didn’t mean anything,” Robin says, pulling his hand away.    
  
“Didn’t mean anything when he was practically groping you today in front of everyone,”   
  
“Why do you care?” Robin asks and he’s met with silence.   
  
Ant can’t think of an answer. The silence hangs between the two drivers for a moment before a flicker of realisation appears in Robin’s blue eyes. “Unless you-”   
  
“Why him?” Ant asks softly, cutting the Dutchman off. “If anyone could turn you gay, why is it him?”   
  
“I was drunk, Ant. He was there. I was complaining that I liked someone I couldn’t have and well things went from there-”   
  
“Who?” Ant says, his voice is barely a whisper.    
  
Robin hesitates, his lip caught between his teeth. “Ant, I-”   
  
“I’m sorry. I shouldn’t have asked-”   
  
“It’s you,” Robin blurts out, his cheeks turning pink. He scratches the back of his head, still chewing on his lip. “I’ve liked you for ages and well, I knew you were straight and I never had a chance so-”   
  
“Robin,” Ant says quietly, his eyes widening at Robin’s revelation. “Robin, I-”   
  
“It’s okay. I understand. I meant what I said in that Facebook comment. It was stupid of me to come here and tell you this, stupid of me to think that you feel-”   
  
“I like you too,” Ant finds himself blurting out the words.    
  
Robin’s eyes go wide, his mouth dropping open. “What?”   
  
“I like you too,” Ant murmurs out, feeling his cheeks heat up. “I’ve been going crazy for the past month, ever since I got that message and since Dani told me you slept with Mitch. I thought it was just a thing, but I-” He hesitates for a moment. “I was jealous of you and Mitch and it made me realise that I liked you in that way and I-”   
  
Robin doesn’t let him finish as he steps forward and closes the gap between them. “Really?” He asks, blue eyes staring into brown. Ant nods once and Robin leans forward, his breath ghosting over Ant’s cheek as their lips meet. It’s everything that Ant imagined - Robin’s lips are soft and warm against his own. His hand slowly moves from Robin’s face to cup the back of the shorter man’s neck, fingers playing with the soft curls at the nape of his neck. Robin moans a little at the contact, his arms sliding around Ant’s neck as he deepens the kiss. It seems to go on for a lifetime, both men’s lips colliding into each other, the only sounds are that of the distant traffic and their heavy laboured breathing.    
  
Ant finally pulls away, his eyes falling on Robin’s lips, still glistening in the dim light of the hallway. They stare at each other for a moment, unable to comprehend what just happened.    
  
“Was that better than Mitch’s?” Ant finds himself saying.    
  
Robin’s lips break into a beautiful smile. “Of course it was,” He says softly, his hand entwining with Ant’s as he pulls him into his room. It’s still new - this thing between them, this thing that Ant can’t define. But he finds himself at peace as he curls up with Robin in between the cool sheets of the hotel bed, their clothes still lying on the floor and Robin’s head pillowed on his chest, snoring softly.    
  
He grabs his phone and types out a message to Dani.    
  
_ You were right about Robin. He’s definitely got a type and he’s definitely not straight. ;) _ __  
__  
He clicks send and tosses the phone away without waiting for Dani’s inevitable keymash of a reply as Robin makes a tiny sleepy noise and moves closer to him, his breathing tickling Ant’s chest. Ant feels the ghost of a smile brush against his lips as he pulls Robin closer, pressing a soft kiss to the messy curls of the Dutchman.    
  
He can’t help but think that things are going to turn out alright as he stares down at Robin and the veil of sleep gently teases his eyes. 


End file.
